changes...in my life...for me...are so sudden...i myself dont realize something has changed till the time i sit down and ponder over things...or till the time someone comes over and questions me...that question itself is irritating sometimes...not only because i hate people prying in my life...but also because it just shows that others are able to see that change in me before i am able to...
anyways...no point digressing into the sphere of my thoughts...for they themselves appear ironic to me...and getting back to the point...YES!...something did happen...and this change...frankly speaking...i dont think i can handle it...for i believed thoroughly she would be able to understand me...for i thoroughly believed she wouldnt be one of those people who stand there mocking me...
but it happened...yet again...strenthening the highly claimed argument that i am a wrong person...one day you are with a person...talking away....and stuff...and BANG !!...yes the big explosion just took place...only in this case, it was the big "implosion"...and it destroyed something from within me...and today...i hate her (though not in a similar way i used to hate A)...its actually a few degrees below hatred...more of i-dont-know-what (need to think of some GRE word)...but yes...today i do hate every moment i spent with her...i do hate her presence... i do hate the times i thought she understood my plight...i cant be that harsh...i know she did...and maybe still does...people are more sensible than me...maybe i m the one wrong here...but well...this is what i perceive...
ohh this fucking college!!....how i loathe the very thought of sitting in the class everyday...watching hypocrisy every moment...bitches digging up graves for each other...and just waiting for that perfect moment....to shove you in...yet these are the days i know i would miss at some stage of my life...
yes...people come and go...and for me now...my life is all about that one person...who presence makes all the difference in the world...the rest of the people...well...apart from a handful of them i'm sure i dont feel a thing for them...
yes i am like this...i hate this feeling i have within me...but its not always that it shows...its not even always that its present...comes out only when i'm depressed, low and lonely..thats when my alinenation catches up with me...and thats when i need you...
