Confessions of an eccentric mind

Oreos and then some!

2009-06-24T13:00:00.002+05:30

Munching Oreos sans milk and working on a paper... thats how I became friends with Aishwarya... a name alienated from her now that shes Oli for me!

Over a homemade meal of Manchurian and that sailor game (whatever it was called), it was time for Kunal and Parth to bear me!

[Queer how everything in my life revolves around food, work and clothes! :P]

And henceforth began a nice tale... Grumpy Kunal... Hyper Oli... The-Grinch-Smile Parth... Breaks at Arcus and Jhaji... Lots of them... Very frequently... Legal and illegal night outs... Movies... (N)ever materializing plans... The night at CTC sans Oli... Lots of sweet memories... which form an inseparable part of my happy moments!

Its a shame I didn't interact with you earlier... but wonderful that I atleast did! :P

Cheers, dost log! :)

Kalyug :O

2009-06-22T12:04:00.002+05:30

6 minutes

10:07 PM manojit: inaperfectworld kya hai?

me: ahhh

well... some threads start on twitter

some syntax hain twitter ke

RT = retweet

10:08 PM manojit: ohh

me: #topic

manojit: baad mein ill samjho

me: for these threads

haan so inaperfectworld was a thread

10:09 PM manojit: dis chap posted dat hez waitin in a queue 2 get trasformers 2 ke muvee tikts

kya ho chuka hai yaar

me: :)

manojit: ev1 is a slave 2 d internet

me: its a min by min update

yes

wake up

THIS is the matrix!!

wow

manojit: i knw

me: kya liner maara hai maine

manojit: u shd keep it as a status msg

10:10 PM pretty true

me: :)

manojit: the computer is the agent smith

me: :)

i'll write a post on this too

manojit: cocoa bean?

10:11 PM me: chocolate

this was written outside the lindt choc cafe in aus

manojit: :)

10:13 PM u can UNfollow ppl also na?

10:14 PM me: yeah

10:15 PM manojit: cool cool...bcz i dnt think i'd like 2 follow ppl who update evry second of deir life

me: lol

The 121ers

2009-06-21T14:47:00.004+05:30

This post comes way too late for the fantabulous time I've spent with the best possible people on the planet!... on the day I meet them the last time as a non-working person...

There are a few lines from the Scrubs episode "My Finale" which when I first heard reminded me of you all... Kancha, Pondi, Bala, Lord, Tony, Akank, Bhasin, Shreya, Tiny, Biyani... and here they are...

"Endings are never easy. I always build them up so much in my head, they can’t possibly live up to my expectations, and I just end up disappointed. I’m not even sure why it matters to me so much how things end here."

And here it was... doing what we did best.. MBA... Movies (and TV shows), Bakar and Alcohol... Getting into the entire mood of nostalgia... I try to recall how I started interacting with you all...

Kancha...

Day 0: the guy in that awesome Guess T-shirt!

Day today: That awesome friend who beats me at being spoilt! And who still doesn't know directions!

Pondi...

Day 0: that guy from my CL batch!

Day today: That friend who is amazing... and an integral part of my life... and my sole partner in the maximum-marginal-increase-in-weight-since-joining-MDI!

Bala...

Day 0: that guy on the dome with Akanksha

Day today: My docile teddy bear :)

Akank...

Day 0: that female with whom I share lots of common friends

Day today: that friend whos mostly lost.. but is still there

Lord...

Day 0: That studious guy from Sec C

Day today: That old man (and his scorpio) who has been an awesome part of vellaness

Bhasin...

Day 0: that guy who talks a lot in the OCPS class

Day today: that foodie friend with whom the coveted foodie day is pending!

Tony...

Day 0: that insane mallu

Day today: that insane mallu friend who deserves the best!

Shreya...

Day 0: that sweet girl who is fond of spending time on the dome

Day today: that awesomely sweet friend who I shall never forget

Biyani...

Day 0: that guy with common tastes as Akank

Day today: that dancing southie-at-heart uncle who is "brilliant"

Tiny...

Day 0: that girl who talks a lot

Day today: that friend who talks at a rate of 74 words per 30 sec and has been a hell of a shopping partner

To us! To friendship and good health!

Cheers :)

The Indian Ostrich

2009-06-17T12:55:00.002+05:30

Excerpts from the book "Maximum City":

Long before the millennium, Indians such as the late prime minister Rajiv Gandhi were talking about taking the country into the twenty first century, as if the twentieth century could just be leapfrogged. India desires modernity; it desires computers, information technology, neural networks, video on demand. But there is no guarantee of a constant supply of electricity in most places in the country. In this, as in every other area, the country is convinced it can pole-vault over the basics; develop world-class computer and management institutes without achieving basic literacy; provide advanced cardiac surgery and diagnostic imaging facilities while the most easily avoidable childhood diseases run rampant; sell washing machines that depend on a non-existent water supply from shops that are dark most hours of the day because of the power cuts; support a dozen private and public companies offering mobile phone services; drive scores of new cars that go from 0 to 60 in ten seconds without any roads where they might do this without killing everything inside and out, man and beast.

It is a very optimistic view of technological progress – that if you reach for the moon, you will somehow, automatically, span the inconvenient steps in between.

Just a Tweetle bit more!

2009-06-10T18:56:00.007+05:30

"Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup, they slither wildly as they slip away across the universe..."

Having seen the user base of Twitter quadruple over a period of inactivity from 8mn to 32mn, I gave a final attempt at tweeting or microblogging, as the phenomenon urges to be described by its creators Biz Stone, Ewan Williams and Jack Dorsey. And whoa! I am addicted... to reading random articles on random topics... posted by people, bots, companies and everything possible.

A few months back while registering on Twitter, repelled by the its GUI, I'd thought who would every want this... typing 140 characters to describe what track you're listening to, or on which road you're stuck in a jam... Do we really need this kind of information traversing through the space?

From an article I read online: "Are we really becoming a nation of people who reflexively share information with everyone the minute we have it? We might be. Twitter has no choice but to hope so. They might be right."

With a forceful attempt, I welcomed the social media that is supposed to change the way organizations think, breathe, talk! And gradually, I learnt the art and science of leaving a strand of your thought into the universe, and processing zillion other bits that I receive as a consequence of following others.

Where does all this lead to? How does a platform such as Twitter earn its revenues? Would selling of official users to organizations such as Coca Cola and Starbucks give it the leverage to be what its hyped to be?

Being a novice in this domain, I am obviously not as well read as a zillion other people on the planet... but I feel the players are already in motion... the stage for the fantabulous domino effect is already set... the revolution would come the day local marketing doesn't remain local in this transmission of messages, but via Twitter... to the consumer base "following" the organizations... When consumer research is conducted on the followers of the brand (the demographic aspects of Twitter are already built in)... When a huge mass of users would look forward to tweeted news (I, in the past few days, have already started doing that!)...

Its almost like the scenario in Matrix, when Neo is caught between the two worlds at the mercy of the Trainmaster. You need to be on this Twitter train to get to the other world... the future of marketing and communication that lies ahead!

This is what the power of "what are you upto" can lead to in the next 2-3 years... which will be, no doubt, very exciting times for marketers and consumers alike.

The following is an image I came across in an ebook on social media and marketing. Just pondering at the expanse of the platforms available for a single purpose: to talk! Such is the innate desire of us homo sapiens to communicate :)

Its too late to be a pessimist!

2009-06-08T16:27:00.004+05:30

The after effects of some movies do hit you hard... The two major ones for me have been Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth and Yann Arthus Bertrand's Home... The contrast between the magical photography and the terrifying message struck me hard.

This 5th of June I went to bed thinking what I could do.

We all have a role to play in the entire game... but before that begins, its important that the issues dawn upon us.

Before I get onto that... the broadcast of Home was a phenomenon in itself... Youtube progressing from promoting classics to broadcasting a 90 odd minute long movie on the website.. one of the main channels of broadcasting the "free" movie, which has been a good marketing effort from the PPR group, outside Europe and the US.

As an individual, I don't know to what extent I can aid in resolving the issue of the catastrophe created by our species. Suggestions and opinions on that part are invited.

A few links I browsed through while the after-effects phase is lasting:

http://goodplanet.org/

http://www.stopglobalwarming.org/

http://www.thebigask.com/

In the end it seems that Agent Smith's words had been very apt: "Human beings are a disease. A cancer to this planet."

Song in my head this week

2009-06-07T15:55:00.001+05:30

Audioslave's Be Yourself

Someone falls to pieces
Sleepin all alone
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
To finally drift away
Someone gets excited
In a chapel yard
Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave

To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

Pilot v 2.0

2009-06-06T22:50:00.003+05:30

Its been a long long slumber. Having shrugged off writing for a few months now, I can't any longer choose to ignore some recent events which point towards my inactivity at my blog.

The questions pertaining my blog have been genuine, I must comment. A few FAQs:

1. Why don't you write anymore?

uhhhhh... :|

2. If you don't want to write, why don't u just delete the URL? Would spare Google of all the crawling.

uhhhhh... :|

The other ones... well I just ignore them and go ahead with what I want to do. Though today, I really feel like writing...

Hence, attempt at reviving the blog is on.

As always, it would be a amalgamation of my thoughts and my dreams :)

2008-11-18T00:47:00.000+05:30

We all remember the bed time stories of our childhood. The shoe fit Cinderella, the frog was turned into a prince, Sleeping Beauty was awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time and then they lived happily ever after. Fairy tales. The stuff of dreams. the problem is, fairy tales don't come true. It's the other stories. The ones that start in dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable. The nightmares always seem to become the reality...

:)

2008-11-01T02:30:00.000+05:30

Run

2008-08-11T23:38:00.001+05:30

People always run. When things don't go as they wish it's the easiest thing to do, to escape their negative emotions and find something that will replace them with positive ones. People run from themselves.

It's been raining all week. Sort of nice I think...who knows why.

That time of the year...

2008-07-22T21:40:00.003+05:30

Trees grow... leaves fall... And before anything, you realize its that time of the year... when friends complete another year working... when friends get their visas and go away... when friends go some 2000 kms to work and start something new...

And to think of it, its happening this year too... Turns out, the entire phenomenon works on the avalanche effect... Friends going away in year 't+1' is way way larger than year 't'!

Sob Sob ;(
Miss you all guys.. :|

Halfway between the gutter & the stars!

2008-05-26T14:01:00.003+05:30

And I drop Choko La out of my "must-eat at" places... But it was evident... No Pita Pizza... No Penne Pasta.. No goat cheese... Nothing any more... Sighhhh :(

And I make meticulous plans answering my whats and hows and whens!
:)

And I travel distances in 2 months which are far greater than what I traverse in a normal year!

And I wish and dream and sleep...

And I wait for September to come with my fingers crossed...

And I pray for the tests to be over and everything to be fine.. :|

And I iterate... and reiterate... my thoughts before validating them (Gawwwd... when did I become such a meticulous person??)

And I fall in love... with another city... ahhh!

And I miss MDI... and the (n)ever-changing food... and the absolute random talks!

2008-02-11T16:46:00.001+05:30

"Imagine if you suddenly learned that the people, the places, the moments most important to you were not gone, not dead, but worse, had never been. What kind of hell would that be?"

2008-02-08T17:35:00.000+05:30

"Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
Man got to tell himself he understand."

2008-02-06T15:22:00.000+05:30

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another which states that this has already happened."

2007-12-16T23:15:00.000+05:30

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”

- Thomas Jefferson

Axe!!

2007-12-15T02:39:00.001+05:30

Akshotapuram... Axe effect... nautanki... From clearing misconceptions about each other to talking day in and day out on the phone... and conferencing online... discussing our chefs!!
Everything we did was similar... isomerism... and yet different. Zany as hell... one fine day we decided to go to the US... take GRE and TOEFL... CBT.... and put the onus of cooking on the other... or take the chefs along...

And then nostalgic outings... moving out of college in a clandestine manner... and meeting at the metro station... wonder what we were intending to do... Ohhh I so miss that time now... and then CP!! Our specialty days... Look your "something" best days...

Masala Junction... Wisdom Mart... CCD after TOEFL... Coded talks... wow!! I miss them all... Plans which we coudn't realize... UPenn... UMCP...

Stupid songs... which I enjoy making fun of... Senti discussions... which ended in tears...
Kudos to you moti!!
:)

Avantika

2007-11-20T17:07:00.001+05:30

2003-2007 and hoping it continues... :)

By no doubt, the most beautiful and beautifood time of my life. Engineering. College. The best times. There was practically no need to say anything. My gussa/happiness and every other emotion was quite evident to a"bh"antika, it seems.

To think of it, the 1st year passed by without much camaraderie. 2nd year was accompanied with lots of His and Hellos.. The trip after... Bangalore... And we knew we've met our match... And thereon begins the journey to every nook and corner of the city... There was scope for going out and having fun with everyone... But sigh... our plans never materialized...

And here we had... 2 people completely alike. To the very core. The only difference being the pizza outlet preferred. There had been a difference of liking for jalapenos... But that vanished by the end of college :D

Never can think of what led to the gradual or not so gradual bond between us.. But it was fun throughout. We had misunderstandings, and naraazgi, and what not. No verbal fights though. And no cat-fight (although we were privileged to witness one in class...alas, no camera to record it). Hehe.

The C.L. times were good too... more of the Keventers times actually. And all the food... and shopping... and comment-passing...

Some moments which still make me laugh out loud...
The way we used to run back and walk again... just to see how chussa hua aam types somebody's boyfriend looks.
The same procedure being used to comment on the "babes" of igit.
Your chinki talks...which ended up in the official nomenclature "Chinki".
Momo-point... hogging on chicken momos and crispy spicy potatoes (I'm sure I'm still naming the dish incorrectly)
Being called "sisters" (lol)... courtesy Neha Singhal
The dull clothes episode... courtesy "Mamma-ne-kaha hai"
Clandestine photographs... IGIT cartoons
Ending up wearing same clothes every morning... with you rushing back to the hostel at 10 to change :D
.... and so many more.

It was good to see you again in Mumbai... Probably the major reason I was glad to be going to NITIE was the proximity of your place... It was fun... shopping and eating at Subway.
In fact, an extension of the above was when the first thing I checked about P&G's Mumbai office was how far it is from Hira Nandani. Lol. Hope to see you then too.

No words can actually describe how I light I used to feel after talking to you. How effective the bitching-sessions used to be! And it was surely wonderful, and still is, to have a friend like you. Wish we could have spent more time together.

The last sip is still yours. You know, kahin koi iss duniya mein "sunder" ho raha hoga!
Miss you dear :(

PS- Bhookh lagi hai. Kuch achha khaane chalte hain.

2007-11-20T16:52:00.001+05:30

Some people really matter a lot... They possess great extra-ordinary powers (not the Heroes kind though). They'll make you laugh... and cry... and smile... and jump... and remember... out of nowhere. Happens with me quite frequently. I'm sitting and reading a book... and then suddenly I remember someone... and start missing him/her. And the process is, well, completely random. From this post onwards, I shall write about a few such people in my life... who just make it more beautiful.
:)

PS - they will be in no particular order.

Senseless senses..

2007-11-16T05:16:00.001+05:30

Chaos. Utter chaos. Life. Priorities. Let go. Understand. Hate. Discover. Cry. Smile.
What probably was being said was true. Summers do open your eyes. Not only about your "core competencies", but more about the people surrounding you. People who pretend to be your friends. And all they can say is crap. All they can think is crap.
And at the same time, you find people who make you realize what I have been doing is right. That I should not care about these "shitty" people!

I acknowledge today that I made a huge huge mistake, thinking that a particular person is a friend... what she turned out to be was entirely opposite. I thank her for showing her true colors in the 2nd month of MDI... Now I know who to cut off myself from.

So its another 4-day gap between classes... The end result is what I wanted.

Today I finally realize that a stone is what I have to become when it comes to people like the ones I had been hanging out with during my first few weeks in MDI.. So long!

The Instant Noodles Theory

2007-11-05T03:25:00.000+05:30

Ahem ahem... In a different writing mood tonight... somehow unexpected (by me too!).. But so it is.. And here it goes...

Instant noodles... Maggi... 2 minutes... In effect, thats all the time it takes for you to have your "inner soul" shouting whether you like the other person or not... Gut feeling i can call it... But its somewhere beyond that point where gut feeling ceases to be logical (ohh yes, its logical at times!)... And thats how it is...
Just like maggi can't be prepared in 2minutes... but it does sell with the 2minute funda... thats how my instant noodle theory works...
It fails... a number of times... But i don't regret it... for I have the alibi ready... "it was this feeling I had".

Somehow to think of it... and extending beyond categorizing people... I do a lot of things spontaneously... 12 jan 2006 for instance...!
:D
And then... I do figure out a reason for it... at least most of the times...
Ohh its a good world... I guess!

"And I don't want the world to see me..
Coz I don't think that they'll understand"

2007-11-02T22:18:00.000+05:30

There is no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing but I can try for your heart
Our dreams and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned loving

Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart
Why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together

It's always better when we're together
Yeah we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well it's always better when we're together
Yeah!! it's always better when we're together
(Jack Johnson)

2007-10-30T12:58:00.001+05:30

Been a long time since I wrote something... Not that things haven't been going on in my mind... But I have fallen for the lazy trap... Procrastinating all along... Till yesterday I finally decided to pour it all again...

Somehow I feel MDI has taken away a part of me... two infact... the habit of reading non-stop... and...
Come December... and it shall be good...
:)

2007-10-02T12:21:00.000+05:30

"When memories exceed dreams, the end is near."
But what if they already did...and I have been unable to capture the whole picture? What if things have been haywire for long and wanted to reconcile everything? What if the end is already here and I just have to lock the door behind me?

I am.

Hyphen Intacto

2007-09-29T19:48:00.000+05:30

(TOI - 26/sept/07)

Has the hyphen — that tiny punctuational drawbridge linking two otherwise unrelated words — become an endangered species? In the geostrategic sphere, Washington’s famous (or infamous, depending on your point of view) ‘hyphenated’ India-Pakistan equation has been dropped from the global political lexicon. Whether or not the nuclear deal with the US (which the Indian Left is doing its best to stymie) comes through or not, Washington is unlikely to once again equate India — whose 60th birthday is causing champagne corks to pop in New York, London and just about everywhere else — with its coeval, Pakistan, which seems inexorably to be sliding into chaos. So in Uncle Sam’s vocabulary regarding the subcontinent, the once ubiquitous hyphen is as dead as the dodo. Unfortunately for it, the hyphen isn’t faring better in the larger sphere of English usage. The latest edition of the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary — that Michelin guide of what’s cooking semantically in the anglophone world — has dropped the hyphen from no less than 16,000 words. So ‘fig-leaf’ has dropped the ‘fig-leaf’ of the hyphen and become ‘fig leaf’, and ‘pot-belly’ has cut the umbilical cord of the intervening sign and is now officially ‘pot belly’. In other cases, the hyphen has been squeezed out of existence by the merger of previously hyphenated words: ‘pigeon-hole’ has been reborn in the amalgamated avatar of ‘pigeonhole’, and ‘leap-frog’ has turned into ‘leapfrog’.

Perhaps in an increasingly permissive linguistic environment where SMS-ese and other verbal shortcuts have become the order of the day, the hyphen is seen as a quaint relic of the past, rather like the hymen, the sign of female virginity, whose loss is held to be of no great account in a social climate amenable to casual (but safe) sex and live-in (should that now be ‘live in’?) relationships. Will the hyphen survive this all-pervasive onslaught? The answer might lie in the second last word of the last sentence: ‘all-pervasive’, a portmanteau adjective describing the subsequent word, ‘onslaught’. ‘Pot belly’ might be fine. But when you want to describe a person with such a belly you may find you have to have recourse to the adjectival ‘pot-bellied man’. Similarly, a ‘fine-tooth comb’ (a comb with closely designed teeth) is very different from a ‘fine tooth comb’ (presumably a handsome device for combing one’s teeth). While such distinctions matter, the hyphen will remain intacto.

Delhi ... Le-gennn-dary!!

2007-09-29T18:13:00.000+05:30

Delhi is the best Indian city to live

(from ET)

MUMBAI: Riding on its high quality of life, transportation infrastructure and overall labour force contributing to its economic growth, Delhi has emerged on top among 48 Indian cities, including Mumbai, as the best place to reside, according to a report by Ernst & Young.

The report, which took into consideration 57 parameters before arriving at the conclusion, said between Delhi and Greater Mumbai, the national capital takes the lead on city prosperity index due to its lower population and hence higher per capita income. Delhi also indicates greater propensity to save earnings and lower credit growth.

The consultancy firm's findings were unveiled by Urban Development Minister S Jaipal Reddy at the Ficci-organised International Real Estate Summit here today.

On the business environment index as well, Delhi out scored all other cities as it has a large workforce and more number of management garduates, people employed in trade and services and other business activity as compared to most of the other major cities such as Mumbai, Chennai and Bangalore.

However, on the urban governance index, Greater Mumbai top-scored, leaving Delhi at the second spot.

"Delhi has arguably the best infrastructure in India. It has out-performed almost all cities on all the indcators that comprised the infrastructure index," the report said lauding its road network and social infrastructure, including hospital and educational institutes.

Heroes

2007-09-22T15:00:00.000+05:30

And I thought it would be a loser sitcom... But it was great... Yes I love super heroes... they are my escape from this reality... But theres something beyond superheroes... Theres more to Harry Potter than what you see... Theres more to life than what you can feel...

Theres always more; and yet we never try to find that out... I want to fall off the roof and know that it hurts... And I want to run through the rain and know that it cuts my eyes... I want to go off alone and know how I survive... I want to dive into the ocean and see how long I can breathe...

Theres always an Aragon... and a Dumbledore... There is always a hero... There is always an adventure...

Its sad to see very few people who want to live an adventure... Why do people even ask questions like "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?" Its the worst question that could exist... Why should I plan my life and then live it? Life is an adventure... its the longest rollercoaster that could possibly exist... And yet we fail to do justice to it... Why do we think?

Eyes,
Missed the last train home
Birds pass by to tell me that im not alone
Well im pushing myself to finish this part
I can handle a lot
But one thing i miss
Its in your eyes

Have you seen this film
It reminds me of walking through the avenues
Well I'm washing my hands of attachments, yeah
I will land on the ground
But the one thing i miss
Is in your eyes

I just love the way Genesis starts... The simplest of all questions... and the one that can drive us mad... I am not same as the others... And thats what I am... I am not you...

Its special out there.... ohhh yes it is...
:)

2007-09-21T00:55:00.001+05:30

And then... we are back to taking exams... Ohh I so hate statistics...
:(
May I pass the stats exam... rest I should be able to handle..
Amen.

2007-09-20T02:02:00.000+05:30

Reliable...!?! The term we've used so very often... for C++ and Java.. and in software engineering... along with such terminology as robust and platform (in)dependent et all..

Red: Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.

Ahhhh.. I so absolutely hate this dialogue... sends more than just a shiver down the spine... The effect is more than a mere rethink process... its a whole journey retraversed... And so with this, I go down the memory lane... with a little (okay, big) wish at the back of my mind... that I shall traverse this road again as if it were new...

2007-08-28T19:22:00.000+05:30

In life, we'll all eventually get what we all need...and maybe what we all want... But then u'll always feel theres something amiss.. and thats what you have left behind...

I didn't get what I needed...and surely not what I wanted... You didn't either... But we left each other behind... to traverse the same path separately... Why? Ain't that illogical?

2007-08-23T20:17:00.000+05:30

"I was thinking about another kind of river, one that runs through everyone of us, no matter where we come from, all over the world. It's the river of the heart, and the heart's desire. It's the pure, essential truth of what each one of us is, and can achieve. All my life I'd been a fighter. I was always ready, too ready, to fight for what I loved, and against what I deplored. In the end, I became the expression of that fight, and my real nature was concealed behind a mask of menace and hostility."

2007-08-22T23:45:00.000+05:30

Today was a day of anomalies...
My mood: quiet
Song: coldplay..fix you...

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Hmmm...Think....

2007-08-22T01:25:00.000+05:30

The last time you talk...seems like a farce...and wiggling your head sideways...you look behind you... and see theres nothing left... just an empty space...
All this while you'd thought theres something with you...but then its all a lie..
LIFE is a big lie... everytime theres something happening, I try to feel I can take control... that I can make things work the way they should ideally... but woooooosh!! Life takes over... or would we attribute that to fate?

Till what extent can one believe in faith? I, for one, never did...but at this very moment...I wish it turns in my favour...which implies by itself that somewhere down the line..I have come to believe in it...though my conscious mind doesn't allow me to think so...

Talking about life and fate... where does this all lead to? Wouldn't it be better to have nothing than have some sadness? I would surely prefer that...whether it means that I appreciate the happy times or not...

Why am I so optimistic about certain things? Why can't I accept life on the face of it? Why do I try to challenge everything that life throws down on me? Why???

2007-08-16T18:14:00.000+05:30

In the boat..struggling to find balance, we soon discovered that the boat had started sinking..
Not losing hope, we decided to wait and find out whats irrelevant on the boat and throw it out..

But nothing happened...and you lost hope...decided to call it quits...
So I threw out stuff...hoping you'd stay...I threw away my self respect...my ego...my pride...my independence... but it didn't stay afloat...
I went further to throw away my friends...one by one...till I was left with the closest ones...

And then you threw me off it...

2007-07-31T15:13:00.001+05:30

The best 5 moments in my life..

#5 The moment I knew I it would be me for myself..

#4 When we all cut the cake to inaugurate Zenith'06.

#3 When I saw my sweet lil bro...14/may/1998 :)

#2 When I solved your cryptographic code...24/July/2006

#1 The day I met you..

2007-07-30T00:10:00.001+05:30

"it ain't worth it"...
And the words ring in my head over and over and over again..The voice isn't mine though...But the tears are...
My question is..how can we decide beforehand whether something is worth our effort and time...Thats what time is doing for us (outsourcing)... How can we say something isn't worthwhile? How can it be when you, in the first place, don't want it to be worthwhile.. When you're looking for that one not-so-perfect moment...and then SNAP!...
Who are you? And who am I?
That, my dear, is the question..

2007-07-28T22:15:00.001+05:30

Just when we think we got all the answers of life... life changes the question!

2007-07-22T01:30:00.000+05:30

The only way to survive is one person who truly loves us. And I have you. I will wait for you. Always.

2007-07-19T16:28:00.000+05:30

... and here on i begin...

2007-07-11T09:24:00.000+05:30

The rock hit the plain ground .. apparently it had fallen from the high mountains.. Broke into pieces.. rolled down the road.. Dust and smaller pieces.. Got under the feet of people .. Flew away with the dust storm.. Landed at the doormat of an office.. Flew into the eyes of a child.. Washed away with the sea water..

But I'm going to collect it all.. I'll bring it all together..

'Cause baby,
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you babe..

:)

The FOOD routine..

2007-07-09T10:42:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time .. two bhookhi females met in igit... and hereon started the daily eating in-and-out, eating here-and-there routine .. which I'm sure we both miss ..

The following was our daily routine.. which made us realize within a few days that we live (and love) to eat ..

Time: 8:30am
Venue: my home
Event: missed call to avantika (an indication that I have started from my place)

Time: 8:45am
Venue: Inderlok metro station
Event: another missed call to avantika (an indication that I'm half way to the coll)

Time: 8:55 am
Venue: walking down along the monkey road
Event: continous missed calls (an indication to avantika that she better come down from her room)

Time: 9:00am
Venue: Outside electrical block
Event: Drink khus and orange squash (and occassionally glucose or lemon juice)

Time: 9:50am
Venue: Last bench of room E-308
Event: avan and I receive a missed call.. whoa! aggarwal is here.. going to come to the class via the loo!

Time: 10:00am
Venue: Yokohama/Handa aunty .. and HPMC
Event: go to aunty... see theres nothing good to drink .. next stop HPMC .. drink cold coffee.. agg buys juice..

Time: 11:00am
Venue: E-308
Event: Eat day schi food.. (hostelers really relish that). I complain to agg to get yummy sabzis. Agg makes a prominent idiotic face. We three eat (with occasional attacks coming from meghna, sonal and gang and priyakshi and khushboo).
My lunch: aloo / fried rice / such yummy food
Agg's lunch: karela / brinjal / beans ... :(

Time: 1:00pm
Venue: outside electrical block
Event: agg going back home .. lol. Avan n i pop up our fav ques .. which is one of the following:

Bhookh lagi hai!
"Mass bunkkkkk"
Kuch achha khaana hai..
Kahin bahar chalte hain...

.. and so begins our expedition .. to fill up (infact overfill) our empty stomachs..

Momo point @ Knags
THE best .. by far .. the best momos in india.. and decent prices .. We eat and relish veg steamed momos and chicken momos (steamed) .. and the red chilli sauce .. and spicy chilli potatoes .. and chilli garlic noodles .. and prawns .. chopsuey .. sweet 'n' sour .. yum yum yum! Its finger licking .. and hotttt!

34 Chaurangee Lane @ Knags
Yummy rolls... egg roll .. chicken roll... mouth watering ..

Omlettes @ Knags
Before this place, we never knew all that can be made from eggs .. and its delicious .. eat and eat and eattt...

Chuski @ Knags
Crushed ice iced with different colored syrups .. red and yellow and green .. eat it and spoil your clothes (waise bhi mom is going to wash it.. so.. go ahead)

Bunta @ Kgate
Outside the college .. and in the bara bazaar.. masala wala bunta ..

Kulche chhole @ Kgate
"Bhaiya .. kulche zyada fry nahi ... n chhole mein bahot zyada mirch .. and lotsa achaar and onion .. make it very spicy" !

Mango shake with ice cream @ Kgate
Our savior during summers.. its heavy.. and our say.. get loads of tinned cherry and dry fruits sprinkled over it!

Golgappas .. aloo chaat .. bharwa golgappas ... and all unhygienic food @Kgate
Boy!... That sure has increased our body's immunity .. with the yum factor

Rabri @ MLTR, Kgate
Lick your lips .. after this for sure.. though this was an occasional destination..

CP, Pitampura, Chandni Chowk, and other eating outlets to be covered tomorrow..

2007-07-08T18:37:00.000+05:30

Lost .. season 2.. don't remember the episode no.:
Hurley thinking..
Jin and the clucks' chicken: "Life's going to change now.."

And it has.. its somehow the same thing we try to fight against... until the day Rose comes in and tells us to accept it.

July 9 2007 .. 00.09 hrs.. A call.. A friend.. and the conversation.. shocking..
And i can't till the present minute.. There are some really close people .. whom to love to see together.. whom you HAVE seen together for a long long time..
And then.. one day.. things change.

I've never seen someone as happy as my friends X and Y .. I miss both of you.. And I hope I shall see you again.. as you were.. as we all were.. as we were happy.. as you were together.. as we were together.. i hope..

2007-07-07T20:02:00.000+05:30

ahem ahem... venturing on to people... i divide all the homo sapiens on this planet (and in the universe) into 4 categories...
1. people i don't know..and hence, don't care about
2. people i know exist..but don't care about
3. people i know and care about
4. my lovely little kids...i.e. people i really love...

Now is the time to place people in each category... though they keep making minor shifts...from one category to another... and sometimes moving onto an altogether different category .. which is, for now, facing the error..

Hmmm..category 1 would be like...most of the junta.. i don't know you... I don't care about you... Now the question is the definition of knowing a person... keep guessing..!

Category 2... ohhh lots of people fall into this one too... ! Category 3 and 4 are my favorites... at least the people are... so category 4 (not in any specific order):

aadith
ankur
sandy
avantika
keeda
aggarwal
saurav
kshitij
sanyal

And category 3.. well... some people here too... and now I am getting too lazy to write down their names... so this shall be continued..
amen.

2007-07-07T19:59:00.000+05:30

when you are where you stand.. but don't wish to stand..
when you see what you can.. but don't wish to see it..
when you ...

:|

THE date !

2007-07-06T17:02:00.001+05:30

So its going to be 07/07/07 tomorrow.. well one day I won't be mistaking the date format for sure... no mm/dd/yy or a dd/mm/yy.. though i still prefer the mm/dd/yy format... :)

As always, all the papers are crammed up with "auspicious" implications of the day... Seems this time the international authorities have been appealed by the "event" too...! The 7 new wonders of the world... wow!

My take: may the happy-ever-after times return .. and continue.. :)

2007-07-02T22:35:00.000+05:30

I don't know who you are.. I don't know who I am..

2007-07-02T00:09:00.001+05:30

splash ...

need more water to cut through the ciliary muscles.. they need to wake up.... they need to realize things are different now... and why is my mind hoping they'll revert back?

maybe it will be fine... maybe it won't be..

2007-07-01T22:16:00.000+05:30

INTERACTIONS !!

for me,.. the word has for long meant the nursery rhyme "old MacDonald had a farm"... with a chit chat here... a blah blah here... here a blah .. there a blah.. everywhere a blah blah..

but well... 8 days in mumbai... and i know something now... ohh i miss mumbai... despite the sick food... and the weird "mosquitoes"... i miss the place... the campus was amazing... the best i have ever seen... it was serene... and calm... and the people were nice... and friendly...
ohh am already missing some of them here...

hmmm... back to what i learnt... i made new friends...

back to studies now!!

Why Murthy should not become Prez

2007-05-17T11:08:00.000+05:30

A different point of view...and at the same time an interesting one..

(TOI : 17/may/07)

With a presidential election looming on the horizon, many commentators have been bemoaning the fact that it increasingly seems the Rashtrapati Bhavan will once again be occupied by a politician. Why, goes the refrain, can’t we have a non-neta, a citizen who is a credit to India?

Usually, these commentators conclude by unilaterally nominating N R Narayana Murthy as their candidate for President of India. Of course, none of them ever see fit to check with the man himself, whether he would be interested in the job. In fact, making Murthy the President would be singularly bad news for him, Infosys and India.

Here’s why: Murthy is a man of drive and vision; an entrepreneur who creates wealth. He may no longer be officially involved with the day-to-day running of Infosys but he remains its foremost brand ambassador and his numerous social activities generate enormous goodwill for the company.

As chief mentor of Infosys, he inspires a new generation of young IT whizzes to propel the company to ever greater heights. All this is great for Infosys, since it helps the organisation make more money. It also has a multiplier effect on the economy, by creating new jobs and generating higher salaries. And — while it may not be his primary motivation — it is also good for Murthy, since it increases the value of his Infosys shares.

Now imagine for a moment that Murthy was made President. Given his high ethical levels, he’d promptly sever all ties with Infosys, which would be extremely bad news for the company. A great entrepreneur who can create so much wealth for India would be reduced to hosting tea parties for foreign dignitaries with unpronounceable names — which would be a tragic loss for the economy and the country.

Murthy likes to stay low profile, while notching up major achievements. The office of the President, as designed by our founding fathers, functions exactly opposite to his preferred style. Rashtrapatiji, whoever he might be, participates in lots of activities that are accompanied with pomp and splendour, but end up achieving precious little.

So why not let Murthy get on with doing constructive things for the nation and install a regular neta as President? That would have an additional benefit: Since the Prez act ally can’t get anything done, it means there’ll be one less neta around to muck up the country.

Telecast in India is unwatchable

2007-04-28T17:44:00.000+05:30

(from TOI...28/apr/07..)

by Steve Waugh, Former Captain of Australia (...And my role model)

I am leaving India tonight after a few days in Chennai, Bangalore and Mumbai. There is no doubt that the enthusiasm for cricket in general and the World Cup in particular has diminished. It’s a direct reaction to India’s exit from the World Cup, so I hope that once India win a few games, the passion and interest will reach fever pitch again.

However, the custodians of the game in India must protect it against the over-commercialisation taking place on television. It is annoying, ridiculous and an insult to the game to see an advertisement being squeezed in just because the bowler has not reached the top of his run-up. The telecast in India is unwatchable, and since I was watching the game at a bar with a few others, I could see that I was not the only one put off by the advertisements. Youngsters are missing out on vital commentary, since most comments are cut off the minute an over is called, or when a wicket falls. These are not good signs for Indian cricket, and somebody needs to protect the game from becoming devalued in this manner. Everybody must remember that the advertisers are there to promote the game, the game cannot be reduced to a vehicle that promotes the advertisers.

Hope this pinches the Indians and we wake up from our slumber...

2007-04-20T19:31:00.000+05:30

Denial of service. Denial of rights.

The frail body woke up...to witness being deprived of the right to have a free opinion.

2007-02-25T11:43:00.001+05:30

"slow down ohh you crazy child...
take the hook off the phone and disappear for a while..."

random pattern

2007-01-02T10:08:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, i realized there isn't any need to write anymore...for my soul is with me and i can speak to my soul...but then 40 minutes later...it all changed...i heard my soul say that it can't listen to me forever and it needs sometime alone...so here i am..back to pavilion...with another hope thrashed...

2006-12-31T12:24:00.000+05:30

the most amazing pics ever...hats off to ali khurshid !! (click on d name)

2006-12-31T12:04:00.000+05:30

Click the pic for more... (from www.time.com)

Books...

2006-12-28T19:19:00.000+05:30

You see my birthday is approaching...for that or any arbit reason...anyone gifting me the following is welcome:

The 9/11 Commission Report
Steve Waugh's autobiography
David A. Vise's The Google Story
Bill Gates Business @ the speed of Thought
Hillary Clinton's autobiography
Thomas Friedman's The World is Flat
Christopher Paolini's Eragon
Christopher Paolini's Eldest
Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911
Salman Rushdie's Shalimar The Clown
Salman Rushdie's Step Across The Line
Joseph E. Stiglitz's Making Globalization Work
Some Orhan Pamuk titles
Ayn Rand's Virtue of Selfishness
Ayn Rand's Anthem
Amy Tan's Saving Fish from Drowning

I guess the above list would suffice for now...

2006-12-28T19:11:00.000+05:30

At times, there is something everyone needs to do...spend time with oneself and look back...seclusion, at times, is not something that reflects insanity...However gregarious I may appear to be, I know I am not...maybe I am...but surely not most of the times...

A certain level of seclusion...isolation is necessary for sanity...

2006-12-27T12:59:00.000+05:30

Revisting the year ..

2006-12-27T12:21:00.000+05:30

Year 2006

Ponder Ponder

2006-12-26T14:50:00.000+05:30

If i had a dream and you had a dream and both dreamt of each other, how would we know who was dreaming whom and who was more real than the other?
If you woke up whiile dreaming of me even as i dreamt of you, would i disappear? and if i disappeared, then how can you, a part of my dream, still be around?
ponder ponder ...

"Published" with consent

My to do list ..

2006-12-25T20:54:00.000+05:30

1. start studyin...for (well this is going to be a listtt) XAT...FMS..
2. my "darlin'" project...playing ping pong at the moment...
3. do something worthwhile..wht exactly...dnt knw... ( do suggest somethin)

thats all I can remember for now..though the above is definitely not an exhaustive list !

Tree of Life

2006-12-25T20:36:00.000+05:30

From TOI: 25 Dec 2006

The modern custom of decorating the Christmas tree has been traced back to a more recent tradition in 1570 where a small fir was decorated with apples, nuts, dates, pretzels and paper flowers, by a German guild of craftsmen. Their children collected the dainties on Christmas day.

It is believed that the tradition of the Christmas tree has its origins in an ancient pagan ritual celebrating renewal of life. The Christmas tree is usually an evergreen coniferous tree, a variety of fir or pine that retains its leaves all year round. Some species such as the ‘Glastonbury thorn’ flowered for a second time during Christmas and this flowering was considered ‘miraculous’, according to some mediaeval legends.
In modern celebrations, the Christmas tree has become more of an object than a symbol of life. Nowadays, trees are seen in shops as early as October. Some trees are sold live with roots, so that they may be planted later and enjoyed for years. However, the process of digging up a tree with its roots is complex and the survival of these trees is low. Most people, therefore, use a cut tree which comes from a Christmas tree farm. It takes about 10 years for a tree to grow to a size where it can be used for Christmas. In 2002, in America alone, there were about 22,000 Christmas tree farms and nearly 4,50,000 acres of land was used to grow these trees.

Natural trees, however, come with a host of problems such as the potential for catching fire and causing allergies, besides being fairly expensive. Predictably, plastic has taken over, and artificial trees made out of PVC are now becoming increasingly popular. Artificial trees come in a variety of colours and species and even pre-decorated with lights. After Christmas they can be neatly packed away for use again the following year.

In this voyage from a real unsheared tree, originally harvested from the wild, the Christmas tree has come a long way to now being grown like a crop, being pruned to have a perfect conical shape and finally being replaced by a completely unnatural substitute. Environmentalists are still debating whether the move to plastic is better or worse for the environment. Although artificial trees can be reused for many years, they are non-biodegradable and eventually end up in landfills. Natural trees, on the other hand, can only be used for a short period but can be recycled into mulch or used as erosion control.

What is also losing value gradually is the deeper symbolism of the tree. While there are several layers of spiritual meaning attached to it, the act of inviting a tree into one’s life could also be seen simply as a reconnection to nature. Although a man-made substitute may be practical and durable, what it can never be is alive. The tradition began at a time when nature was abundant and humans lived with a strong awareness of their dependence on nature. In the present time, as urbanisation takes us further and further away from our natural roots, the custom of the Christmas tree could become a reminder that we are indeed still very much a part of the natural universe.

The Christmas tree could represent all trees and symbolise the very important role that trees play in the survival of life. In each country, a species of tree that is indigenous to that context and which plays an important role as a provider of food and livelihood could be taken to be the Christmas tree. Already, in India, where coniferous trees are limited to higher altitudes, the banana or the mango tree play that role. In Goa, the trunks of palms are decorated with chains of light for Christmas and for New Year.

Rather than cultivating Christmas trees, which increases monoculture and necessitates the use of pesticides, naturally growing ‘wild’ trees should be honoured during Christmas. The ‘gifts’ that are associated with the Christmas tree, could then be seen as gifts that all trees offer so unconditionally.

The Christmas tree, a symbol of renewal of life, may finally come back to where it began, and help humanity reconnect with the source of all that is living, namely Nature.

Lessons learnt... the hard way !!

2006-12-25T18:47:00.000+05:30

Quite contrary to the general saying, people prefer to watch others fall and learn from their failures...sounds like the perfect thoughts of a lazy person...sit and wait till the person besides you falls down the pit...watch him down there...analyze where he went wrong and move ahead...

Now it suggested to me when u watch that person-beside-you fall down that pit...don't just stand above watching him and learning all the lessons you ought to...hold out your hand and reach out to him with a smile...

Thats like too pretentious...my first opinion about the "suggested" approach towards life...i mean...you were the person who was waiting this guy would fall...and you'll learn and move ahead...and then you ought to pretend like you are the savior...rescuing this fellow..

Diplomacy...at play...(was going to write at the best...but at the moment I 'm not really sure if it ought to be the "best" or the "worst") Seen it here and there...the perfect shrewd specimen..I have encountered in my life...but never really understood why a person on this planet would need to behave diplomatically...fine...its something that the zany politicians can do...its there work...otherwise they wouldn't be left with anything else to do...

End of philosophy...I decided to give this strange eerie philosophy i shot...and the perfect scenario...I had that chance today...

Though I would still rather be the same frank person most of the time...I do understand where these diplomatic tactics are to be put into implementation...and perhaps the best situations are:
1. when you don't want to be answerable to somebody...or a particular group of people...especially when they DON'T even have a right to interrogate you about topic A and B and C and blah blah..
2. when you want to create a distance between yourself and person2 and yet..don't want to cut off completely.

Its not too tough either...just keep that smile of yours in place...and use that calculative brain of yours...

PS - some more opinion-oriented posts coming up soon..

Harry Potter

2006-12-23T11:14:00.000+05:30

Read this people...I hope Harry doesnt die...
Harry Potter...the last book

salty coffee

2006-12-22T15:06:00.000+05:30

(a forwarded mail..unlike the usual ones.. so read on..)

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody even paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything. She felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home..suddenly he asked the waiter: "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."

Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea , just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee,I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much,I miss my parents who are still living there".While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.

That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart.A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home,cares about home, has responsibility of home..Then she also started to speak, spoke about her farawayhometown, her childhood, her family.That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date.She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you foranything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.

Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.......

2006-12-19T18:53:00.000+05:30

alritos...am in a decent blogging mood tonight...unlike the past few days...when i used to start a post....feeling theres a lot to be written and closing it down (without saving) after a few minutes...

today...is definitely different...probably because i have been thinking...and now i have a certain level of confidence in what is happening around me...dont know the exact reasons...but the cruz of the matter is that i feel GOOD!...and it feels nice!!

to all the people i care....my bachas...it feels great to have you all around...

ummm....getting to the point...the frustration i wanted to vent out...the thoughts i wanted to pour down on my blog...FEMALES ARE CRAZZZZY!!
this blog might not be the right place to write down about people in my life...its "public"...but then who else is gonna read it?...apart from me and probably those people??...and the "millions" of strangers who read this...its french to them...other than that...who gives a damn if the bitch reads this and feels disappointed that i have stopped mentioning her!!?...bitches like her can actually go to hell...and fuck themselves (they aren't gonna get anyone else for that!)

lets start with...ummm....kanika...probably one of the closest friends i have in college...and to date...i confess...shes a mystery...thinks strangely...but understands me...and has stood by me in times when i didnt even knew i had a friend besides me...hats off to you girl!...hope you get past that pre-CAT stage...and transform back to the normal vella-maroing female i knew some time back...

now theres baba...khubsu baba...another mysterious character...with loads of misunderstandings and walls standing between the two of us..hoping they'll finally fall down this semester...kal ho naa ho!!

a few people i saw with respectful eyes...alas...not anymore...

past few days...found i carry a lot of importance to a few people...(read insects).. :) ur an amazing person too keeda...

and my cutest bacha...or rather bache....my fav trio on this planet...or rather quadruple...aadi, ankur, sandy and anvay...ankur is the best!!...

:)

that's all folks...see you later, alligator...

PS - the blogging mood just ended...for tonight...

current fav...

2006-12-19T18:50:00.000+05:30

Chasing Cars

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
they're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

GaRFieLD !!

2006-12-08T19:10:00.000+05:30

2006-12-07T19:20:00.000+05:30

sometimes ...

2006-12-07T19:15:00.000+05:30

2006-12-01T18:34:00.000+05:30

(for a friend..i hope she reads this...)

Let's see ... What is heartbreak? What does it mean to have your heart broken? Is it something from which a relationship cannot ever recover? Is the definition of heartbreak an irreparable schism that forces two lovers apart, never to be together again?

I don't believe so. A relationship is made up of days and weeks and months and years of interacting with each other. Interacting when wonderful things happen, interacting when horrible things happen. A day is made up of thousands of words, glances, touches and movements. Not every single one of those is going to be happy or loving or sweet.

People hurt each other. People act selfishly. People act unexpectedly. People do things without thinking, without filtering their thoughts. It's inevitable that these things will cause two normally ecstatic lovers to glare at each other, scream at each other, maybe even slam doors and throw things at each other from time to time. Hearts break all the time to varying degrees.

What matters is whether or not those lovers are invested in mending their broken hearts together instead of separately.

If to you heartbroken literally means 'having broken up', then I'd have to say that I have been (and still am) in a relationship where I have not had my heart broken. But that feels silly to say. Plenty of people remain in relationships that should not exist, and I'd be willing to bet that their hearts are plenty broken so the yardstick of 'together or not' doesn't work for me.

Maybe I'm too literal. Maybe I'm not literal enough.

2006-12-01T18:30:00.000+05:30

"I’m hungry. I’m tired. I’m bored. I’m restless. I’m uncomfortable.

Never am I more vulnerable to temptation, anger, impatience, irritability, presumption and despair than when in these states. And never am I more the seeker to be free from these conditions by pacifying my flesh, than in these seasons."

she hoped ...

2006-11-29T18:04:00.000+05:30

she hoped that day that it would rain...that it would rain and she would smell the freshly soaked earth...that it would rain and she would try catching a glimpse of that rare rainbow...that it would rain and she would see the grey skies...and that night, she slept with that hope...but it didn't rain...
she being the person she was, wished for the skies to pour the next day... but they didn't...so she wished and hoped the next day...and the next...and the next...

tired...she lost hope and decided to seclude herself...seclude herself from the rest...not to look up at the skies like the others...not to hope that the first rain drop would touch her face...and that night...she slept without her usual wish...

she shut the windows and the door...to resist that temptation inside her...to look at the skies...

and that day it rained...

2006-11-25T17:07:00.000+05:30

the past few days...have gone racing by...the files and vivas n syllabus makes little sense right now...despite the exams' dagger hanging overhead now...

its been a different time altogether...say the past 6-7 days....as though i've seen life in a different light...n now...i want to delve into the issues...to explore the pros and cons...

recently...i again saw the bitchy irritating and diplomatic side of females...n its pathetic...they r true bitches...each and every one of them in IGIT...the status ought to be converted to a bitching institute...
there was CAT...went OK...infact better than i expected and deserved...

and despite all this...i walked this road with people i never knew so well...with people i know are my friends...with whom i never got to spend a lot of time...but theres something connecting us...sanyal...bengali...rammy mummy...

spending the last year in college is strange...unique is the experience in its own sense....at least for me...for on one hand, i am relieved i wont have to see these hypocrite faces after 6 months...and yet...thinking where would my small gang be...!!

2006-11-25T17:00:00.000+05:30

(taken from: rahul)

2006-11-25T16:50:00.000+05:30

i came across this article on the internet...

Child Abuse

Abuse is not just something that's learned from living with abusive parents. Suffering through abuse also appears to permanently lower the brain's production of an important regulator of emotions called serotonin. Low serotonin can make people more prone to acts of rejection, impulsive aggression and violence.

2006-10-29T21:33:00.000+05:30

shattered...the glass shatters...yet again...some problem in my hand...keep throwing the ball at the glass again...wht don't i see it yet??...why don't i realise that it ain't resilient?..

or do i see it?..

questions and questions...with no answers...

Our very own chin2 bacha n amby bacha in the papers....

2006-10-11T08:23:00.000+05:30

(from TOI - DT - 11/oct/06)

What do you think of India being ranked first in greasing hands all across the world?

“It works both ways. Bribes are paid as there are people who accept it willingly. You cannot always blame government officials. The situation is grim but not beyond redemption. The public can be of some help by not giving bribes.”
Amber Nagar I 21 I Student

“I think we need to consciously think about this social evil. And if nothing is done to root it out, it might get worse. Self-restraint, stricter laws and transparency in the system are the only ways to do away with corruption in India.”
Chinmay Bijwe I 21 I Student

2006-09-30T11:39:00.000+05:30

AIR SUPPLY - All out of love

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Was it a mistake to trust u?

2006-09-26T16:39:00.000+05:30

"But what if it turns out the wrong way? What if he gets angry?"

"Don't worry, girl...kuch nahi hoga...i'll do something..just wait for 10 minutes."

Kuch nahi hoga...3 mere words...but when heard from a friend...they are the most assuring words. Your heart beat falls down. And you smile. He is my friend after all. He won't let anything happen to me. He'll make sure i'm not interpreted wrong.

So I'm placed next to the wall. An apple on top of my head.

"Just close your eyes. Am I not your friend?"

Ahhh....yes you are :)

So i close my eyes. I know nothing will happen. After all, I have given my trust to you.

1min.

2mins.

Why is it taking time?...Ohhh....he must be taking a proper aim...

I hear something. Something tearing apart the wind.

Here it comes. It'll penetrate the apple. Does the apple have a worm inside? Just like the ones shown in cartoons?

Naaaah.....soup...kabhi toh sensible baatein socha kar....

Something hits me. Whats this?...Maybe the apple broke down...

But what is this?...I feel i'm hurt?...

I open my eyes....to see the blood seeping thru my shirt. I hold my chest. This is a joke right?..I'm dreaming...I start to call you out...but i feel dizzy...at a loss of energy...

I'm goin down...

The arrow...it...it passed through my chest...am i dying?

"wouldn't u save me?...u said kuch nahi hoga....."

I look at you...am i hallucinating?...are you actually smiling?...the same smile which i thought defines you...are you mocking me?...that i was hoodwinked so easily?...or are there tears in your eyes?

And i die...with a single question in my mind..."weren't you my frnd?..why did this happen?"

Fractals

2006-09-24T17:39:00.000+05:30

hmmm...i always thought fractals are something way beyond that crappy books - all those Hearn & Baker, Foley, Shaum Series... its something in your mind too...how you read them... when you see them...am sure even the most ghissu of all people don't see mathematical formulas dancing in front of their eyes...its their ideas...performing a ritual in front of them...hovering over them...and persuading them...asking them to believe the interpretation that has been created...

so here are a few fractals..these are ones which generate different thoughts in my mind when i look at them...different moods...different thoughts...different perceptions..

PS - thanks to enthu for refreshing my brain's DRAM, and retrieving the data about fractals...sahi SQL query daali boss!!...

Reading the Coldplay Code

2006-09-24T17:31:00.000+05:30

(from an article online)

Chris Martin, lead singer of Coldplay, is a self-proclaimed intellectual nerd. The cover of the band's latest album X&Y may be all the proof we need that he's right.

Shortly after release of the album, a number of the band's fans wondered if there was any particular significance to the arrangement of colored blocks on its cover. It turns out that there is and the blocks are arranged in a code developed in 1874. The code uses visual representations of 1's and 0's in a 5 digit sequence corresponding with particular letters of the alphabet and typographic symbols. It is considered by many to be the first truly digital form of communication and was a primary language used for telegraphy until it was replaced by Morse Code in the 20th Century.

The code was developed by Emile Baudot in 1874 to be used by telegraphers transmitting messages across wires.

To create the code on the cover of the album the colored blocks are arranged in columns. In the lefthand column the black and grey colors are one block, the blank space below it is one block, and the red/orange, orange/green and green/blue combinations below are each one block. A colored block represents a 1 in the binary code and a blank block is a 0. Reading down, the code in the first column is 10111 which represents the letter 'X.' The far right colum reads 10101, the code for the letter 'Y.' The colums in the middle represent the & portion of the album title.

In case you wonder what all the colors mean, it turns out they have no particular meaning and are only included for aesthetic reasons.

Interesting. . .

2006-09-24T17:22:00.000+05:30

The main library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

2006-09-24T11:51:00.000+05:30

"Do you ever get this feeling that no one understands you. The real you, the you that hides deep inside you, that you, you yourself dread? I feel like that. Normally in a day to day life it doesn't show. Its only when I'm depressed, low and lonely that my alinenationcatches up with me."

2006-09-23T16:15:00.000+05:30

All this time the Guard was looking at her,
first through a telescope,
then through a microscope,
and then through an opera-glass.
At last he said, "You're travelling the wrong way",
and shut up the window. . .

2006-09-23T16:14:00.000+05:30

"For this must ever be
A secret
Kept from all the rest
Between yourself and me."

2006-09-23T16:10:00.000+05:30

" In spring, when the woods are getting green,
I'll try and tell you what i mean:
In summer, when the days are long,
Perhaps you'll understand the song."

2006-09-23T14:54:00.000+05:30

ohh its back again...why do i feel this way?...over and over again?...and my mind...its all messed up...too much of chaos...things are so haphazard...i cant make out anythin...what belongs where...and why?
and the biggest question of all...why do i belong here?...do i really belong here?..i just want to be left alone...
i just wanna leave everything...but i dont want to move ahead...
i dont know anything...
i guess this is what i am...a question mark...

Forgot this 1...

2006-09-23T10:53:00.000+05:30

this is actually the TV...VH1...was just idling around....n whoa!....i clicked a good one...

some pics i clickd..

2006-09-22T19:58:00.000+05:30

2006-09-21T15:07:00.000+05:30

The harder you hold onto things...the more they tend to move away from u...and even if they dont...after a time you tend to get away from them...

its like...repulsion WILL dominate...one day or the other....n then back to square one....trying to hold onto them...

but somehow, this times...its different.

my mind.

my thoughts.

i dont want to go back...and in any case...go back to what? to the stupid meetings and then the usual back bitching?

no.

not this time.

for this time it is different.

this time i want things to go away...or rather, i want to recede.

repulsion.

let it be.

Lost...

2006-09-11T14:20:00.000+05:30

You scored as Sawyer.

On the outside you look like a rude, ignorant person, but you are really just misunderstood.Just remember two wrongs don't make a right.Revenge accomplishes nothing!

Sawyer 67%
Sayid 50%
Jack 50%
Sun 50%
Kate 50%
Michael 50%
Hurley 33%
Locke 17%
Claire 17%
Charlie 17%

What LOST Character Are You Most Like?
created with QuizFarm.com

2006-09-07T20:51:00.000+05:30

why???
this question keeps killing...why cant there be a single peaceful day??
why am i here?

2006-09-07T20:11:00.000+05:30

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cuz I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cuz sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

2006-09-07T10:31:00.000+05:30

i am a fool...expectations kill again!!

The Day After Today !

2006-09-06T16:30:00.000+05:30

if all goes well..then after 30 minutes from this time tomorrow, the scores would be in my hand...or at least in my ears from where the nervous system would transmit the information to the brain...and who knows how my reflexes would react!

i have this strange tendency of procrastinating work...now i dont know where to start revising stuff (yes, for a change...i have reached this stage of "revision" in my life...somewhat never done that from the past 3 years...engg after all...!)

so right now am left with:
- flicking pages...barrons..all the 3500 words...
- and blah blah...i know there would be loads left...

i hope i hope everything goes well tomorrow...i wish i wish...
:)

The current picture

2006-09-05T15:03:00.000+05:30

Too much of chaos...things messed up...and I find myself standing in the middle of the room...trying to figure out where to begin...from where do i start putting back the fragments?..into the main picture again..so that i can see...and realise what is happening..
people on this planet (let us confine that to this city at the moment) have an incorrigible disease...they show a lot of interest in others' lives...such profound interst...had they been showing that in their lives...this nation...would have been at par with any other developed nation of the world..!

the rest on my personal blog...shouldnt be mentioning names here in public...!

Ahhh.... 2 more days!

2006-09-05T11:38:00.000+05:30

dont actually know if this "ahhh" is an expression of relief or jitters...!
a higher probability is of the fact that it is a mixture of the two...both emotions entwined so thoroughly, its next to impossible to discern...
i dont even know how the preparation is... i mean...the score is sooooo fluctuating...one cant really conclude..n to speak the truth..others are more confident of my preparation than i myself am...!
lets see what happens....how things take a turn...hope they do for the better (score) !!
:

i am what i am...

2006-09-04T22:53:00.000+05:30

“Why am I not in bed, like everyone else, dead to the world?
Why do I do this, live with the constant pain, the suffering, the sacrifice?
Why?
Because I can.
Because pain tells me I’m awake. Reminds me I’m alive.
Who am I?
I am the wrecker of steel. I am the crusher of mediocrity. I am the face of destiny. I am Animal...”